I have arrived

Hey there ! Its Antonia again :)

After a great Rots and Water weekend in the School for Peace ( for whom who don’t know what this is: ROCK and WATER a workshop to find you inner balance and compass, be self confident and work with your communication skills - thank you for this very interesting 2 day! http://www.rotsenwater.nl/) I took myself off for three days and went to Germany visiting friends of my family next to the Dutch border. I also needed a little bit space from my current surrounding.

So I sat in the German train, but I still went on acting like a tourist from a non- German- speaking country and asked the german train conductor for the right train in dutch without recognizing it.

 Also telling my friends all about my work- they were so curious- was quite hard because it didn’t felt natural to speak standard German.

So it was the first reason why I was happy to come back to the Netherlands because I enjoy it so much to handle with foreign languages in my daily life.

What I didn’t missed was the wind, which was not so hard than in the Netherlands, and also not my Dutch bike – which, by the way, broke today when I was in the middle of Alkmaar 8 kilometres away from the monastery.

 But however- in Germany I drove along with a super cool electronic bike and it was so easy going! Nothing could harm me- I was the queen of the little hills – biking up and down in a fast tempo!

And when the sun went down in the evening I looked up to the sky and thought : “ Ooh there is home!”

My Dutch home in the west. Dutch people say: “De Zon in de zee zien zaken” – seeing the sun sinking into the sea. And I knew in which direction I had to go to come back ;)

And I changed the lyrics of a Beatles-Song: "Here goes the sun - didididi..."

It's alright.

Last week we had a very nice group in the School for Peace – they had a storytelling workshop and told us in the end their stories. A kind of main topic in their stories was- home is not a place – home is a feeling.

That was inspiring - ooh yes -and everyone I talked to about the presentation afterwards still had the impressions of this sentence in his mind.

So I was wondering where I feel at home than – I hug my Mama and my Papa, because they created my home in Austria with giving me warmth and support! I know it is still home, but do I have to come always back then or can I find another home where I maybe also don’t feel pressured. What I really often felt there...

What is true for certain: If it is another place or not - I have to find it in myself.

I also try to understand how it is for people living in the refugee centre. Most of them didn’t had another chance than leaving their country and flee from war, unfairness, oppression.

On our city safari tour in our evs training we talked to a woman from Iran and she told us that she had to flee and that she cannot go back. But if she could, if the regime would be different she would definitely go there. Because it is her home and she loves it, even when she suffered there.

I am currently working on the flyer for our programme weekend from Tich Nhat Hanh in April.  I also read a book about him and actually I was surprised that I find it so interesting and inspiring.

This is a quote from him:

I have arrived – I am home

In the here and now- my destination is in each step.

I have seen now that it I have written it a little bit wrong, but out of any reason it was in my mind like this and that's why I don't change it now. I think it is hard to live in the hear and now, even if I really would like to - there are nearly always different things in my head, things I have to do in the future and things which happend in the  past. 
Only in some particular beautiful moments, I can give away all my fears and problems, give away my To-Do list and enjoy everything around me - see the bee flying from one flower to another, feel the warmth of the sun, hear the birds and the living nature around me and smell it. 

I am looking forward to our weekend to experience living in the moment with a group!

Good night dear day!

It was an exhausting one, with lots of broken things in the pottery and with my bike. Full of spring degrees and surprises ( I went to the toilette and when I came back – this is totally true- a little bat sat on my laptop!!! And maybe our apartment was already its home, but I was so scared and decided not to keep it as a pet and took it outside...).

I see you tomorrow then!

Antonia